Another type of adrenaline junkie...

After searching for "excessive apologizing" I came across the following (which I have edited only slightly from the original http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/

And No, I am not a hypochondriac...

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety is a feeling of discomfort, fear, or worry that is centered on our interactions with other people and involves a concern with being judged negatively, evaluated, or looked down upon by others. While it can often happen during the social exchange itself, it may also pop up in anticipation of a social occasion, or afterward when we review our performance in a given situation.

Because social anxiety can often seem unwieldy or even overwhelming to understand as a single concept, it is often helpful to view it in terms of three separate components that are interrelated and can strengthen one another, leading to a cycle of anxiety:

Anxious sensations in our bodies, such as:

• Blushing - (Not so much)
• Sweating - (Definitely)
• Racing heart - (Sometimes)
• Shaking or tremor - (Nope)
• Dry mouth - (hmm, no)
• Shortness of breath - (Nope)
• Feeling faint - (No)

Anxious thoughts about ourselves, others, and the situation:

• "Everyone is staring at me." - (It happens, and I deal with it)
• "They'll think I'm a loser." - (I just assume this from the start)
• "I don't belong here." - (I try to ignore this feeling)
• "I won't have anything to say." - (I usually think of something, [it comes with practice])
• "People will see how nervous I am." - (Learned to hide this for the most part)
• "They won't want to talk to me again." - (Resigned to this . . .)
• "I will keep looking more and more foolish." - (...and?)

Anxious behaviors, which can be triggered by anxiety, but can also make the anxiety worse over the long term:

• Avoiding entering social situations - (I don't see it as avoidance, it is just a matter of staying to myself, on account that I have a difficult time getting together with friends...)
• Leaving situations - (Don't do much arriving, to do any 'leaving')
• Only entering "safe" places or with "safe" people - (see above)
• Using mobile phones, MP3 players, or other devices to avoid being in conversations - (N/A)
• Apologizing excessively - (This is a habit I have tried/been forced to correct)
• Asking for reassurance from others - (Perhaps passively, which means I really never ask...)
• Preparing excessively (memorizing what to say, extreme grooming) - (Not excessive)
• Trying to direct people's attention away from one's performance (e.g., by making jokes, dressing in a particular way, etc.) - (No. I believe it is better to be stealthy/quiet, so as to avoid attention in the first place)
• Watching for signs that people are judging us - (Do you watch when it is assumed they are judging regardless?)

I may not have Social Anxiety Disorder, just social anxiety, shyness, that was once "painful shyness".

Apologies used to flow quite easily from my lips; there were never any qualms about taking responsibility for mistakes, thinking that I had upset others, or just looking for reasons to get down on myself.

Today - I do not apologize if I do not have to... But...

My present philosophy is to just accept responsibility for mistakes, regardless of whether they were mine or not.  It just makes it easier for everybody, all round.  It is as if I am smugly taking credit for everything, but in the negative. The blame will only hurt for a moment and if it keeps the peace to just 'suck-it-up' and 'bite-the-bullet' I'll do it.  If I am questioned as to why... the answer... "Just because".

Occasionally I will still fall into my old, childhood, ways, and apologize for the slightest infraction, almost as a preemptive reflex...

I hear again and again, "Never say you're sorry", and I just pull out my mental thesaurus and find other word equivalents:

I beg your pardon...
My apologies...
I regret that I have failed you...
It was not my intention to /piss you off/ make such a mistake/f-this up
Yes, I F-'ed up...
It is/was all my fault...
I regret to inform you that my track record has again proven reliable in predicitng present and likely future events, failure is not uncommon...
So. What can I do to make it up to you?
How much will it cost to replace?
There is a good way and a bad way to do this, and apparently I have chosen to do the latter.
I believe that to say "I am Sorry" is just not sufficient; I would like to express my regret for having been born, in that this disaster would have been otherwise averted.

...and so on

versus

... and so it goes.
          - K. Vonnegut.